THE PROSTATE BLUES
I used to always shoot,
Now I can only dribble.
I used to eat five course meals,
Now I can only nibble.
Once I wrote long essays,
Now I can only scribble.
I hate to share the news,
But I’ve got the Prostate Blues.
I once was Mr. Bombastic,
Now I’m more of a spastic.
Used to sleep all night long,
Now my bladder’s not that strong.
I remember having to aim,
Now I can’t make that claim.
It’s not something I would choose,
But I’ve got the Prostate Blues.
I used to pay extra
For cars that went zoom.
I only wanted speakers
That amplified the boom.
Now my main concern
Is finding the nearest bathroom.
Don’t care if I win, don’t care if I lose
My life is now governed by the Prostate Blues.
For those too young,
To relate to my strife,
Who still have the stamina,
To keep up with a young wife,
One day you’ll have no choice,
Between the pill or the knife.
No matter if you never miss paying your dues,
You’ll eventually encounter the Prostate Blues.
Talked to my father
Who’s much further down the path,
He told me to use my head
To figure out the math,
The road starts with a strong shower
And ends in a lukewarm bath.
It’s better than dying early from vice and booze
To slowly but surely develop the Prostate Blues.
