I see so many posts and articles and talk shows where people give their
opinions on who was the Greatest Basketball Player of All Time. Lately it has been
focused on Jordan vs LeBron, as if they are so far above everyone else that no other
player should be in the conversation. Go back a while and the argument was Bird
vs Magic, and no one else could be considered. Go back further and it would be
Russell vs Chamberlain. Whenever these arguments come up someone will laugh,
and proclaim Oscar Robertson was better than any of the others. I always
advocate for Dr. J. Instead of continuing this debate, I have another idea:
If you were picking sides, and could arrange for all the greatest players to be
at their peaks at the same time, who would you want to see play against each other in
the Greatest Basketball Game of All Time That Could Never Really Happen? Here’s
mine:
NATIONAL ANTHEM
Marvin Gaye
REFS
Mindy Rudolph, Dick Bavetta, Earl Strom, Jake O’Donnell
STARTERS
Centers: Wilt Chamberlain vs Shaquille O’Neal
This would be the most epic battle in the paint of all time. Chamberlain never
played against someone as big and strong as Shaq, and vice-versa. I would instruct the refs to
“let them play” when it comes to establishing position down low.
Power Forwards: Tim Duncan vs Bill Russell
I know Russell played center on the Celtics, but in my game, he’s gotta play forward. The Big
Fundamental against the best interior defender of all time.
Small Forwards: Bird vs Dr J
Neither can stop the other from highlight reel material throughout the game. For those of
you born after 1970, you’ll just have to trust me. These guys did more incredible stuff than any other
players since. If I’m picking the sides, I want these guys out there.
Shooting Guards: Jordan vs Oscar
No one except Father Time ever stopped Oscar, and if anyone could, maybe it
would be Jordan. Jordan is quicker and of course also unstoppable, but Oscar would abuse
him under the basket.
Point Guards: Magic vs LeBron
Once again, LeBron is not a point guard, but he thinks he is and deserves
a chance to prove what he could do against the best. Plus Magic never had to play
against a guy this big who might be able to guard him. That is why I put LeBron at
guard, to see that matchup.
OFF THE BENCH
Centers: Hakeem The Dream vs Kareem Abdul Jabbar
I’ll make sure the game is played during Ramadan, and they are both fasting and
pissed about it. The Dream Shake against the Sky Hook. Gotta love it.
Power Forwards: Charles Barkley vs Dennis Rodman
The most relentless rebounder of all time butted up against the biggest, most
unrelenting backside to ever play the sport. Both led the league in rebounding
without playing above the rim.
Small Forwards: Bernard King vs George (Ice Man) Gervin
I can’t say there’s no D in either of their names or their games, but I can s
ay the D in Bernard was silent and in George completely absent. But during their peak
seasons, these guys outscored their opponents regardless.
Fighting Guards: Norm Van Lier vs Calvin Murphy
In my game there’s gonna be a brawl, and the two greatest pound for pound fighters
in NBA history are Stormin’ “I will Go Get a Folding Chair” Norman and “It’s On, Like
Donkey Kong” Calvin. Somewhere in the third quarter they would get into good
ten-minute scrap and knock O’Donnell out when he stepped in to break it up.
Point Guards: Tiny Archibald vs Allen Iverson
The two quickest guards I ever saw – or didn’t quite see because they were
moving too fast. For you youngsters, Tiny led the league in scoring AND assists in the
same season. Allen Iverson was the first guy Jordan couldn’t stay in front of.
Let that sink in.
The Joker: Russell Westbrook –
he doesn’t get to play because I can’t think of a good matchup, but he may be the best
pure athlete I’ve ever seen lace them up, so I gotta make him honorary captain or something.
The Wildcard: Cheryl Miller –
The best female to ever walk on a court. Her brother Reggie is an NBA Hall-Of-Famer, but
even he admits Cheryl was the better baller. At his press conference when he
was drafted as a lottery pick, he was asked, “How does it feel to be Cheryl
Miller’s brother?”
The Outcome: In a game where about 90 points are scored per
team, with about 45 blocked shots and 25 epic slams (plus a few by folks not
named Dr. J), at least two behind the backboard shots by Bird, Tiny and Iverson
taking Shaq and Wilt to the hole and making them look foolish, the brawl, some Hooks
and Shakes, a couple of baseline moves by the Ice Man, and of course whatever
MJ, LeBron, and Magic dream up – Bill Russell’s team wins, as always.
The Aftermath: There is a post-game dunk contest between
Dominique Wilkens, Conny Hawkins, Orlando Woolridge, David Thompson, Shawn
Kemp, Aaron Gordon, Blake Griffin, Zack LaVine, Vince Carter, Spud Webb, Larry
Nance (Sr.), Kenny Sky Walker, and Chocolate Thunder from the Planet Lovetron
Daryl Dawkins. There’s no winner because DD breaks one of the backboards in
each of the first two rounds and there’s no way to finish it.
Then I wake up.
Now, THAT’S an All-Star Game! Fun read, thanks for sharing.